Next Roller Coaster Ride

A typical roller coaster ride is less than 90 seconds in theme parks. They are so much fun that, we don't mind waiting for even 90 minutes to get on a 90 seconds ride. The thrill we get from the ride is truly dope.

All said and done, a 90 seconds ride is different from a 900 day ride. It is not so dope when you can't pause, stretch and breathe for a second. In such a case,

Your resilience hits a ceiling.
Your grit questions you back.
Your perseverance needs a break.
Your patience gets impatient.
Your courage recedes back.
Your optimism drains.
Your cry for a pause.
You burnout.

That is what has happened to me in the past 2 years. Truth to be told it has been a roller coaster ride of 43 years in total but I want to give brownie points for all the amazing side effects I got from being on the ride.

I must say it transformed me as a person.
I showed me what I was made of.
I understood the nuances of context.
My inner growth has been exponential in this period.
I drew inspiration from everything around me.

For example: I learnt how to handle things differently from water. It was fascinating. The same boiling water softens potatoes and hardens eggs 🀯

I have handled a ton of stuff this life time with a broad smile on my face.

Starting from (as big as) a congenital blood disorder for myself, autism & rickets for my kids, stage 4 lung cancer for my father-in-law, COPD for my mother-in-law to (as small as) a cataract for all elders, septum surgeries (self and kids), sciatica and more. In the meantime, as a professional designer I have also built 10+ startups, 250+ products, served 60+ clients and made a number of millions as well. While handling all this, I had time to do 3 masters (HCI, MBA, HFE) and 20+ CBCs.

As a hobby, I manage a full fledged organic terrace garden at home which gives 60% of produce for our kitchen. The energy has been endless. The gratitude has been boundless. The learnings has been beyond me. I am so grateful to have a full blown life with all the dimensions playing in full josh!

While this roller coaster is on in full speed, as of last week, my son was diagnosed with a chronic condition that might affect everything about his life. Right now my entire world has come to a grinding halt.

I am trying to gather strength to deal with the context but I am unable to. I am trying to be logical, rational and non-emotional about things but my pre-frontal cortex is just not working. I want to pick my phone and call the entire world for help, instead I have shut it off πŸ’―

While I want to get some emotional support from my family and friends, I don't even want to talk now. For the first time, I am going through Kubler-Ross Curve.

I guess it is time to take a break from the roller coaster and spend whatever little energies are left in healing myself and provide the needed support to my son. I am slowly winding up all exciting activities of work and life and getting ready for the next phase. I am creating as much room as possible to help my son this lifetime. While I prepare myself for the next roller-coaster ride, I want to take a moment to let you know that there is going to be some silence from my end.

Thank you so much for reading all the ramblings, writing to me to express your takeaways and more. While I write for me in this blog and don't care about vanity metrics, it will be lie if i say I am not excited by all the love and care you all have given me so far. It felt awesome to hear from some of you every now and then. It gave me motivation and responsibility to write better.

Gratitude πŸ™

If I end up making a lotus in this mud, I will sure let you know πŸ˜‰

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