Self vs Audience

Today is a significant day for me πŸ₯

I finally geared up my guts and executed what I feel is right. I may be wrong. I may even hear some disagreements. I may even lose people. But my authentic self feels full. Something inside me is dancing with joy. It is that feeling of finally solving that hard puzzle by fitting in that right piece.

The world is full of information. The ability to pick what is right for self and reject what is not is a huge skill by itself.

It needs immense courage to go past advices, tips, tricks, techniques, arguments, beliefs, narratives, frameworks, models and more. In a world full of noise, finding signal within you is hard. It does feel awesome when the signal is found.

Today is one such day.

As a value creator, it is my job to create value for target audience. The value is communicated to that target audience. I have zero questions in this part of the equation. I am a value thinker and I do that for a living. I can't be so wrong understand value. So the problem is not the area of work.

What I was struggling with for the past 18 months is about discovering creative self and sharing the same with others. I don't know if they need them. I don't need know if they will resonate with what is shared. I don't even know if they are the right audience for that sharing.

The internet is full of awesome advices. Just that some of them are mixed up. They said

  1. Share often.
  2. Be consistent.
  3. Be authentic.
  4. Write Well. It should make sense.
  5. Express from your bones.
  6. Learn in Public
  7. You first and then comes everyone
  8. Churn indicates resonance.
  9. Share your mistakes and experiences
  10. Ensure you reach many people so you can help many

All the above are great advices. I have zero doubts about it. Just one little question messed up the whole stack.

Are you doing this for yourself or are you doing this for others?

This question changed everything for me.

99.99% of internet talks about doing it for others. Building audience.Selling something. Doing value communication by bombarding them with messages. Inducing FOMO. Even giving a little fear. Pushing in urgency. I guess that is called SALES.

As behavioural psychologists, we understand how sales works as a team. We sell what we build at Xperian really well because we know whom to sell it to. We know what their needs and wants are. We give them so much before we take a penny from them. That is extremely clear. Xperian is not me. I am not Xperian.

Xperian has something to sell but I don't have anything to sell.

I build at Xperian. I share my learnings of building with everyone else around me as me. No agenda.

My struggle was how to share yourself with the world that may or may not need you the way you are. In a world full of business, how to be yourself, how to search inside you, how to go on a path of self discovery, that too in public?

I don't mind sharing the authentic journey but I just don't want it to come in between my path of self discovery. I don't want analytics. I don't want churn rates. I don't want rejections. I don't want pebbles on the road.

This is the problem. I don't want any of what the business world is offering. I want to be me. I want to write everyday. I want to learn everyday. I want to explore new things. I want to share my learnings. This is what I have been struggling with for almost 15 months now. Finally clarity came to me.

I will be me. I will continue to learn. I will continue to share. I will publish openly. Just one change. I will not bother anyone. I don't need any audience. If they come here and take away learnings, they are welcome. I will not be tempted by numbers because I don't need that data. This clarity was priceless. I decided to live in that 0.01%.

I live. I share lessons from my living. I do it for myself. If it helps someone I am happy. I will continue my journey of self discovery via self expression.

Finding this inside me was a priceless moment and living by it meant a world to me.

Phew! finally i did not allow the platform to bombard people with too many emails. There are no jingles and background scores but I feel this is a significant life moment inside me.

Be you. Become you. Become better everyday.

Self care first, World care next.

No emails. No broadcast. No BS. Just me, myself and Karthi here. Makes me wonder if Ghost Pro is even needed πŸ™ˆ

πŸ₯‚ to clarity!

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