Recalibrating Self

Are you wondering where did I disappear all these days ? The honest answer is, I disappeared into numbness of life.

53 rd death news (within my friends and family circle) hit me couple of weeks ago. This time it was my cousin brother who was turning 53 in a month. We lost him to a massive heart attack.

Bad news kept on coming during the pandemic. This time it was lot more than condolences. It made me totally numb. He spoke to me the previous day in a call and said he wanted to come home to see all of us. The next day morning he was no more. I am still processing the news and parts of me are still numb.

My biggest take away is: Life is freaking fragile.

More such news hits me, the question around meaning of life gets stronger. I spent almost three weeks to recalibrate self.

Finding self is one part of the story. Keeping self anchored is another.

Here are some reflections and ideas around self recalibration in tough times👇

  1. Our lives are dynamic. Our context keeps changing. Different context, demands different set of activities. Our activities have the power to drift us in different directions. In this frenzy, we do get lost. The beauty is many times there is no interface to tell us we are lost. We just float in the lost world. Only when we know we are lost, we can bring ourselves back to senses. Pen down your thoughts throughout the day. Your words are your compass. They show you when you are drifting away. Once you catch it, you can course correct.
  2. When you have lots going on in life, immerse yourself in something that you love to do. Keep a really tight schedule intentionally. This keeps your mind occupied and you will have no time to think or brood or grieve. An idle mind is truly a devils workshop. Remove the idleness with meaningful work. I haven't worked this hard my entire life but I kept the last 14 days supremely tight deliberately. This advice may sound counter intuitive but in my personal experience it really helped me.
  3. Again this may sound counterintuitive but hear me out. Don't share sad stories with friends when so much is crushing you. As friends they will support you and add fuel to the already heavy sadness. On the contrary, go out for a drink, have inner circle parties (no acquaintance parties), chit-chat, laugh and be more than normal. This helps you get some natural endorphin. Not talking about the sadness helps. I am not against sharing. All I am saying is don't share it even before you have processed it inside you.

As time passes by, murky things in our mind sediments. Slowly clarity emerges. I am not saying everything will be alright with time. I am just saying time will help you start the healing process inside you.

It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light
- Aristotle

🥂 to healing!

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