Teen Talks

I had an interesting conversation with my teen son around school, love, relationships, learning, career and life in the year end holidays. 

A relaxed vacation, lot of pastry and a breezy beach is a great setting for such conversations. 

I smiled at the meta level questions and probed for depth. 

My son opened up and asked, “you topped all exams possible, have a lot of medals and accolades and you still keep learning one thing or other whereas appa hardly studies, he goofs around all day, cracks jokes at all times, punches a few keys for trades and yet he also is doing so well in his life. So should I be you or appa? Why should I care about marks if I can excel in life anyways”.

I was taken aback by that question and I had to think deeply to give him a thoughtful and honest answer. Kids can be brutally honest sometimes. 

here is my take. 

“Marks and grades are not important. After all an A4 sheet doesn’t determine your worth. However the strive to get the highest grades count. It is the journey that sculpts you. 

Waking up early. Doing all the rituals on time. Being on time to school bus. All these simple things don’t matter and even if you miss them it is fine. But the strive to be on time, do things because they matter, have the integrity to not snooze the alarm counts. 

Not getting into top universities and Ivy leagues do not matter. But if you do, your experience of learning from like minded peers and top notch professors matter. 

Not having lots of money is absolutely fine. But having money helps you delegate busy work in life and makes you more productive. That counts. 

What counts is the mindset behind every action every moment. It is the strive, the grit, the resilience, determination, empathy, good will, betterment, patience, perseverance and consistency that matters. 

Between me and your father, while our mark sheets are not the same, ways of working are different, priorities are different, our mindsets are alike. 

Mindset is all about how you react to what life throws at you. Schools, colleges, workplaces, inner circles, communities are your training grounds. They give an opportunity to scuplt youself. Some make it. Some don’t. 

Who make it is 10% and who don’t is the rest. I don’t want you to be one of those who don’t. You can still have a lot of fun, play games, spend time with friends and still ace life. Yes you are absolutely right. “

He gave me a hug and said, “so you will not mind if I get less marks in grade 10 right 😜 

I laughed and said I don’t. But I will mind if you don’t put in any effort and waste the opportunity to strive.”

He promised me he will strive his best. Let’s see how things go 🤓

I wish our schools and colleges emphasised why they exist and what we should focus on truly. There are too many topics we say wish our schools taught us. Well they didn’t. The above conversation sealed why #pifo exists. It will strive to help knowledge workers like you and me to learn the untaught and ace life. 

🎉 to honest conversations!

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