Here is an anecdote from this week that had a tectonic shift inside me.
I committed myself that I will write once in a day for the rest of my lifetime in the beginning of the year. I kept it up for 40+ days of 2021 without a break (in fact I have been writing for 1000+ days in an unorganised manner so 40 is a not a big number in that sense).
I chose writing as a daily habit because a day has a start and an end. It has a beautiful boundary.
Here comes a crazy week where that boundary faded away and there was no day or night. My circadian rhythms went off and so did my routines and practices of the day. Some weeks can be as crazy as this one and it throws you off the orbit. While it is understandable as a one-off scenario, something inside brood over breaking that promise. It pains. It bugs you till you regret and make a plan to correct it.
That is a signal that commitment is a value for me. You don't want to break it. It is a self promise.
This incident spurred me to put down all the things that I will not compromise in this life and it will bug me inside if I don't keep up. The result of this exercise was a personal value map.
Here are 6 words that popped in my head when I asked what matters to me this lifetime.
Definition of value: I will not appreciate me if I break them.
- If I don't deliver on promises (aka commitment) I will be bugged.
- If I don't ground myself in reality I will be bugged.
- If I am not learning every day I will be bugged.
- If I compromise self care I will be bugged.
- If I am not authentic in what i say or think or do, I will be bugged.
- If I don't remember mortality and waste time, I will be bugged.
The template for making a value map is
If I don't _____ then I will be bugged
If you have more than 7 items, prioritise and keep it within 7. It will be hard to keep up more values. It will stress you.
Go ahead and expand your values and put down things that are related in the same orbit. It clarifies what is most important to you.
This does not mean other values are not important for you. It only means that you hold these 6-7 things close to your being and you will strive to live by your values.
What are the things that bug you? What are things you will not appreciate if you don't keep up?
🥂 to value map!