Two English words that confused the hell out of me and equally liberated me are worth and value.
Worth: How we measure ourselves relatively in this world.
When we feel unworthy, we tend to prove ourselves to the world. We work hard to earn a place on this planet. We over do, over compensate, over apologise and even over live. Guilt, esteem, confidence stems from the lack of worthiness. Our worth gauge is how the outside world feels about us.
Value: How we measure ourselves absolutely in this world.
When we don't have values, we tend to take ourselves for granted. We give excuses for not doing things, we play the victim game, we beat ourselves up so badly and we just abuse ourselves.
"Relativity" is how our brains understand and comprehends the world around us. It is human to feel dichotomy inside us. Somehow our hearts know what is good for us and what is not. Values tap into the good side. The things that matter to you. Pick them up. This is how you set your bar for yourselves.
Not having values for self causes dip in self esteem, confidence and self worth.
Once you have values you can't live beneath them. You keep striving for raising the bar. This is not done for someone else out there. You do it just for youself. Whether there is a signal of appreciation or not, you continue to do it because intrinsically it feels right to you. The compass is inside and you do not look for validation outside.
When we don't have values, we try and validate ourselves from other eyes around us.
Understanding this liberated me in many ways. Here is my Value (Lite) version. There is a deep version as well. That is for another day!
When you have values, you find peace inside you, you find resonance outside you and your worth automatically increases in your perception.
Pro-tip: Do not have more than 4-5 values. It is hard to keep up. The AND equation becomes hard to handle and life gets tortorous.
The one person whom we live with and die with for sure is "this" self. Yet somehow we don't care about ourselves so much. Fascinating isn't it 🧐
🥂 to values!