[Values] Setting up self

Karthi Subbaraman -

We have been exploring values this week. So far we have discussed Value Map, what is not values, what is values and extending values in this weekly series. Today we will wonder why don't we have lower standards for ourselves?

A simple thought experiment for you today

Ask yourself how do you want your life to be?

specifically

  • how do you want your career to be?
  • how do you want your bank balance to be?
  • how do you want your relationships to be?
  • how do you want your health to be?
  • how do you want your mindset to be?

I bet you only wanted better things (mostly best things) for you. A wish list will never ask for more pain, more bitterness or more unpleasantness. Never.

We only want good things for us. The simple rationale is we are pain avoidance creatures and we are pleasure loving creatures so we want only pleasant things for ourselves. This is why when we set goals or standards or expectations, we set it super high. Something inside us wants us to become better day by day. The actual pain is following through that wish list with action and execution.

So when we set high standards we strive to reach it. When we aim super high, we are challenged inside and there is a motivation to go farther and move from our status quo.

The problem is when the gap between our status quo (point a) and desirable finish line (point b) is way too high. We lose it. We lose motivation. We lose progress. It is a loop that will take us south.

So here is a different way to look at the equation so that progress happens.

Set high standards and strive everyday to reach it. Even fail reaching it every day. That is ok. Just strive.

Your high standards will pull you up and your strive will keep you going.

Your value map in all areas of life is a bar set high and you living up to it everyday is your life in a nutshell.

Have a high bar with all things life. When there is a bar, there is strive. When there is no bar, there is no strive. Most interestingly there are excuses not to do things. It is the lack of the bar which allows us to stay crappy. I will share a simple experiment I conducted this week along with the results. You will see the difference with bar and without bar.

So set up yourself for success. Set that bar high that is aligned with the YOU inside YOU and keep striving. You will fail most of the time and that is ok. Fail better and don't stop.

🥂 to strive!