I launched a ML(Management and Leadership) book club just couple of weeks ago with a few fellow enthusiasts with one deliberate intention: read books on leadership that makes you an effective leader.
I’ve been procrastinating on titles that have sat on my wishlist for years. This year, I picked up the pace and started with a favorite I discovered only two months ago during our Salesforce leadership skills workshop. I knew the essence, but diving deep into the pages was refreshing.
For those wondering whether to read this book, these notes offer a sneak peek. My advice? Read this book, then immediately pick up *The Advice Trap*. Both are essential.
Book Notes: The Coaching Habit
By Michael Bungay Stanier
The Core Problem
Most leaders suffer from the “Advice Monster”—the compulsive need to give solutions immediately. I’m guilty of this advice trap. My intent was pure—sharing wisdom from lived experience—but long-term, it creates overdependent teams, overwhelmed managers, and disconnected workplaces.
The Solution: Seven Essential Questions
1. The Kickstart Question:What’s on your mind? - Opens meaningful conversations beyond small talk.
2. The AWE Question:And what else? -
The most powerful follow-up that uncovers deeper insights.
3. The Focus Question:What’s the real challenge here for you? - Gets to the heart of the issue and personalizes ownership.
4. The Foundation Question: What do you want? - Clarifies needs and motivations.
5. The Lazy Question:How can I help? -
Ensures you don’t assume what others need.
6. The Strategic Question:If you’re saying yes to this, what are you saying no to?- Forces crucial conversations about priorities and trade-offs.
7. The Learning Question: What was most useful for you? - Reinforces insights and ends conversations with value.
Building the Coaching Habit
Transform these questions into daily practice through:
Micro-habits: New behaviors taking less than 60 seconds
Triggers: Environmental cues that prompt better questions
Repetition: Consistent practice until it becomes automatic
Key Principles
• Stay curious longer, rush to advice less
• Ask one question at a time
• Get comfortable with silence
• Actually listen to answers
• Use “what” questions over “why” questions
The hardest part? The silence. It took me eight weeks to get comfortable with it. Now I feel like a pro.
The Transformation
Teams become self-sufficient. Employees engage more with newfound autonomy—they feel seen and heard for once. Leaders unlock potential rather than provide solutions. The coaching habit isn’t just better management — it’s a fundamental shift toward empowering human potential through curiosity and questioning.
My leadership style transformed in just weeks. I never expected this level of ROI from one workshop and one book. Totally worth it.
Let me know what your takeaways are.
